What is it about Alan Rickman that rocks? Well, for starters I think I’ve liked nearly every movie he’s in (or at minimum, his part in it). Despite being ‘genetically predisposed’ to like Galaxy Quest in being a big nerd – I could only put up with the first half hour or so. However, Alan Rickman’s bit as an alien with the catch phrase (‘By Grapthor’s Hammer’) uttered both at critical plot points – and at the grand openings of car lots – is TOO classic.

Who else goes from German terrorist (Die Hard) to guardian angel (Dogma) to sarcastic, doomsayer robot (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) to Professor Snape (not all the HP movies have near enough of him in them, but most have a good amount )?

I think it’s the combination of subtle, voiced exasperation, sarcasm without even trying, and just his mannerisms that do it for me. The guy just cracks me up!

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Pretty d*** cool – if you haven’t ever read him – he was one of the ‘big three’ way back in Weird Tales days – the other two (better known than CAS) were H.P. Lovecraft (Cthulhu sushi, anyone? Tastes better than Soylent Green! ) and Robert E. Howard (creator of Conan the Barbarian).

I had never heard of CAS myself until reading Stephen King’s ‘Different Seasons’ many many years ago – Different Seasons is really four novellas, the first 3 of which have since been made into movies – bu the fourth story – ‘The Breathing Method‘ – has not. If you’ve read it, you probably know why. But several times through the story King references CAS alien landscapes and settings, which got me interested in finding some stories to read.

Given no convenient ‘internets’ to check out at the time – I went to the next best thing – Powell’s Books – which actually had some used paperbacks (imagine that) – CAS is often as hard to find on the stacks as Philip K. Dick and for a while there, I was thinking CAS was harder to find than Kilgore Trout books. But, thankfully other fans exist out there too and besides the existing paperbacks here and there, a few hardback story collections have been put together. CAS didn’t write novels – only short stories and poetry.

Anyway, check out some of the stories here and enjoy – after which you may be ready to find a copy of The City of the Singing Flame all your own…..

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So in anticipating the new Clash of the Titans movie about to come out – I got the old one (1981 vintage) from the library. The last (and only) time I saw this movie was around 1984 while staying with friends in Nicoya, Costa Rica – the town had a small theater and we saw the movie there one night (with english subtitles).

So….on the one hand, this probably was an impressive movie for its time (given the varied Ray Harryhausen animation throughout if for no other reason) – I was about 15-16 at the time and remember there being sound issues in that theater, don’t really remember much of the movie. I think I remember the Kraken, who is essentially a cross between Godzilla (size), Creature from the Black Lagoon (appearance) and the silly big multi-armed Goro from the also ridiculous Mortal Kombat movie (multiple arms). And yes, I saw at least half of THAT movie, and let’s just say it doesn’t merit its own review – play the video game instead.

Rumbling forth to modern times, ‘COTT 1981′ looks pretty dated. Like other journey + monster(s) + hero/heroine movies, there are several tedious sequences where they are just riding around. This was my main complaint about the The Two Towers (theatrical version, anyway – the extended Two Towers DVD version is much better on that score). Too much running around with obviously a camera plane tracking them from above (thankfully never saw a shadow – an Orc probably got the camera plane with a flaming arrow at some point – that’ll learn ‘em!).

Neither hero nor heroine are very good actors – Harry Hamlin (Perseus) does a lot of staring into space with a half-frown and his mouth hanging open and the heroine isn’t given many lines or much to do at all. Burgess Meredith (Perseus’ helper guy Ammon) isn’t bad, but he was better playing a flightless bird earlier in life (or when he trained Italians). Zeus gets all the best lines (but considering the actor playing him, pretty unsurprising).

As to other silliness – most of the men run around in non-existent pants that would even embarass Richard Simmons – and I don’t want to know how it is to ride horses (flying or no) in effectively a medieval jockstrap for miles on end – there is a reason they invented chariots and rickshaws, guys!

Perseus’ sword is pretty cheesy – I think i’ve either seen that thing before at Brookstone or that nerd store in The Market. The matte painting backgrounds are a bit too easily spotted as such. and as for Bubo, the mechanical owl given to Perseus by Athena – I didn’t mind him but at least they open with him breaking a dead tree branch by landing on it (because as a metal owl, he’s too f’ing heavy? )

Let’s sum up by saying there was a lot of fast-forwarding (the magic of DVDs!) and hope that the new version is decent – although if the story is the same, i’ll wait to see reviews before getting in line. Hopefully The Kraken will get a shot at eating Liam Neeson or something cool

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